V-Day is coming!

Humans are funny ol’ things. One of the most romantic days of the year is named to honor St. Valentine, a martyred saint who was caught marrying Christian couples and executed and/or buried on February 14. I vote for romantic love to be celebrated on a different day than this death day, perhaps the six month anniversary of Valentine’s Day, August 14, a day as far away from Valentine’s Day as it is possible to get in the year.

However, I would not want to forget Valentine’s Day altogether. I plan for fitting tributes to be paid. A yearly tradition where we bury old letters or other mementos from those true relics of our past, anyone who is now an ex. Each year, in honor of the original St. Valentine being offed, we toss the stuff into a hole and throw shovelfuls of dirt on top. Perhaps even whacking the stuff with the shovel before the dirt goes on top all while imagining the ex. Then we dance on the grave. I see a whole new Hallmark department with specially designed bags and trims in which to place one’s formerly treasured, er, treasures. I would opt, though, for a basic ceremony instead. Dig the hole, toss in the stuff, heap on the dirt, then say a few words or swear a few words or sing a few words and dance.

Then open some wine and toast the future. After all, August 14 is only six months away.